Red Flags and Inconsistensies

Red Flag--Anything that makes your gut tumble, your ears perk, or intuition scream. Actions that are questionable to you, your peers, Mother Theresa, God or the Devil.

Pay attention to Red Flags.  They are there to help you on your journey in finding the one. We as women are conditioned to ignore Red Flags. Making excuses (whole other blog!)  for actions of those that you would question if you stood on the outside. The older we get the more Red Flags we tack on to our consciousness, provided that you learned your lessons through your experiences.   Of course there are Red Flags that we all know of:

Violent Behavior

Quick Temper

Posessiveness

Extreme Jealousy

These Red Flags are innate in us as homosapiens...We don't need mom to tell us we shouldn't put up with any of these characteristics. Yet as we all know for these horribly bright Red Flags still don't stop women from making excuses for them. TSK.  These aren't the Red Flags I am writing about. I want to point out Red Flags that we don't even neccesarily see immediately. The ones that creep up on you 6 months, a year or 5 years from now. The little things caught early can save you from picking or better yet allowing someone not worthy of you take up your time. We are all different. Our Red Flags pertaining to us as individuals could be as different and vast as the endless stars in the sky. So I decided to list my Red Flags and hope that they jumpstart a new understanding of what makes you tick, what you expect and what is important to you.

R. F. #1--- When a guy turns off his cell or puts it on silent everytime he is around me. (who are you avoiding?) Now I am not talking when we are on a date or in a movie theatre...I mean everytime we get together whether to hang out, shoot pool, catch fireflies or play ping pong. No way.

R.F. #2--- You don't listen as well to me as I listen to you. This is a big one for me because I am a great listener. I genuinely want to hear what you have to say, I ask questions and I give great advice...If I am not getting that same kind of respect and attention then we are not on the same level and there MUST be something better you should be doing.

R.F. #3--- I only see you at your suggestion.  If the only time I see you is when it's your idea or when you have time, I'm checking out.

R.F. #4--- You tell me what your type is and I don't seem to fit that mold...HELLO. Everyone always loves to try something different or new...but if every woman you point out looks nothing like me I know I am a interim distraction. We all know how irresistible it can be when we meet our type. Why put youself in the line of fire. You should be what someone pictures when they think HOT!

R.F. #5--- You don't glow the way you should around him.  The inner light that tells people you are happy doesn't shine as bright.  A proper half should bring out the best...not dim it.

Those are my top #5. There are more but I find that if any of these lack I don't stick around because these things are important specifically to me. We all know what makes us happy...what we don't like and dislike. Now I am not saying to shun someone cause chews with their mouth open. It's the things that are not fixable, things that are important for your well of happiness and satisfaction that we should look for. Which brings me to:

Inconsistencies--- Things that pull at you cause they don't add up or make sense.  Actions or words that do not line up with what you thought you knew of someone. Things you thought you knew because of what that person led you to believe.

Oh the inconsistencies. These things become clearer and you see Red Flags. Sometimes the inconsistencies raise Red Flags, either way they go hand in hand.  If you are like most women, you pay attention to detail.  You hear and see things that are invisible to a man's naked eye, so to speak. This attention to detail and our undeniable women's intuition team up for a pretty powerful super hero of inconsistency detection.

Rule of thumb. If you think it's BS... most of the time it is. If you have a jealous streak or have trust issues in general you must sort what you are making up and what are facts as spoken by him.

Pay attention when he talks. Many times guys speak too much inadvertantely. They say things that don't match their actions or vice versa.  Pay attention to his actions. Does he treat you the same way alone and with friends around? Does he constantly change plans? Is he hot one day and cold or aloof the next? Don't let yourself make excuses for behavior that doesn't seem indicative of a stand up guy...or the guy you deserve.  I mainly write this cause I am learning to put me first...Combine the Red Flags, Inconsistencies life expiriences and you develop what we call STANDARDS. Standards are what has our back when we are questioning someone's potential. Standards are what allows us to not make the same mistake again (so important in the dating game). Standards can only help us, so why not try to set them now.

It's definitely not easy to sort through all the toads to get to that one frog prince. But think of the time and heartache you coould save if you knew what characteristics make a toad a toad? It would be a smoother and more emotionally sturdy journey to the Frog Prince.